Delusion
I have a delusion about challenges, a thought that the world will give me challenges in order to test and grow me rather than being a result of happenstance. So when everything is going well, I wonder when that will end; and when something goes wrong, I'm relieved at how small it is compared to how it could be--as if I'd already gotten my dose of self-improvement for the day, or week, so I won't expect more for a bit.
Logically, taking a broad perspective, my problems seem so tiny and insignificant. But, even acknowledging that, I can't choose my immediate emotions; nor the emotions that linger. So I have to recognize and respect them, and let myself feel them, and then allow the day to pass so I can reset again.
I wish it wasn't so noisy.